This Bilbo quote seems to encompass my life lately. Lots of changes, lots of stress, lots of the unknown. Every time I "step outside my door" I seem to get swept away here and there and none of those places are this little space of mine.
It's July now. Less than a month until we get married. I'm a creature of habit and this month will be completely shaking that up. Making tons of phone calls when I usually avoid any phone conversations. Preparing myself to have all eyes on us when I normally stick to being a wallflower. Gearing up for flying again... Thats a big one. I don't know if its getting older or what but I've developed a bit of a flight anxiety. It never used to bother me and now (like a child) I need to have scores of things to keep me busy and not thinking about being in an airplane. I nearly passed out during a wee panic attack last time. Woozy, light-heated, hot and cold at the same time, hyper-ventilating, numb hands and face. The people in the seat across from me looked very concerned. I was fine but it leaves a bit of a bad taste in your mouth. A kind of will it or won't it happen again? Oh well, it is dangerous business going out your door after all.
On a lighter note everything for the wedding seems to be coming together. That huge monkey that has been on my back (aka sewing the dress) has finally been lifted. Thank the heavens!! I had a tall glass of celebratory wine while I revelled in netflix (The Bletchley Circle, X-files, and Sherlock... again) and not having to do anything for the rest of the day! It turned out good. The nitty-gritty isn't perfect. There's a wonky part to my hem and such but no one is going to notice that. One part on the back is slightly uneven but I was passed the point of caring and with my hair being down it will cover that whole area anyway. If I had to take the seam-ripper out one more time for a mistake I may have just kept ripping. Did I mention I was happy to be done?? ;)
Well before this turns into
more of a block of typed ramblings from me I will stop. I think I will take the rest of the month off. Enjoy the last bit of wedding coordination and, of course, the actual day without the added pressure of finding time for this narrative. Before I know it it will all be over and I certainly want to live in the moment right now.
-I'll be back in August to bore everyone with the details! Haha
This photo is from my phone the other morning. Some wild clouds were rolling in while the sun rose behind them.